As I was sitting here pondering my uniqueness for Today’s Parent, I decided to search quotes on “being yourself” for inspiration. (I’m pretty sure I was actually pondering, not just thinking…) Now I understand that starting a post with a quote is certainly neither unique nor witty, but I was only reading them for a kick-start. However, this quote did more than inspire me, it resonated with me.
“Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life; define yourself.” ~Harvey Fierstein
Now if there was ever a quote that epitomized all stages of being not only a single mom, but a Western Canadian, orphaned young, First Nations (maybe Metis), entrepreneurial, single mom, I have yet to find it. (Okay Today’s Parent – I’m not relying on subtlety here, that is my “unique” list.) So here I am, I am going to define myself and this labour of love I like to call my blog.
There was a time in my life that the mere consideration of beginning a blog would have caused me great stress and ulcers, along with many late night snacks of Doritos and Gummy Bears. “Leave no evidence”, was my motto, diaries were burnt, notes were shredded and thoughts, well they remained unspoken. I’ve never had any of those deep, dark secrets like you see in the late night slasher flicks. So why no evidence? I still don’t have a reasonable answer to my lack of journalling or diarizing, yet here I sit, years later, blogging my little heart out. (I was going to say decades but if I’m only 25, that doesn’t work, does it? )
Blogging has now become so much more than “evidence” for me. I use blogging as a way to record my inspirations and epiphanies. (Mostly so I can prove I’ve had them.) When I write out my thoughts, I find myself becoming much more objective about the situation, better able to think rationally. I write when my kidlets amuse me as a way to immortalize this beautiful, innocent time in their life. I write to show that being a single mom can be a positive experience – that although people still google “why are all single moms poor”, that single moms are in fact strong, independent, forceful (mainly in the good way), positive individuals.
Although I am currently going through the much dreaded ‘C’ word, (not THAT word spammers) – Custody Battle, I still wake up everyday (except on Mondays), thankful for my life. I am blessed with two beautiful children who love me and if I were to be completely honest, admire me. We live in a warm house that the bank owns but graciously lets me pay the taxes on, with unconditionally loving pets. Well, except for the cat. She has conditions. Lots of them. Soft food at 5am being one of them.
As a person, I truly don’t recognize the individual that is being spoken about during the dreaded ‘C’ word but I am holding tightly onto the identity I feel best fits. A survivor of tragedy and mental illness. A thriver of life and motherhood. (There’s no red line under ‘thriver’ so it must be a real word.) A caring sister, a loving and indulgent aunty, a community leader, an entrepreneurial spirit, a faithful Believer, a loyal best friend, and an awesome wing-girl.
I am so much more than a loving Mother who puts her children’s best interests before her own, yet they are my reason for getting out of bed at 7am every morning. (Darn school buses don’t drive way out here.) However, becoming a single mom is how I finally found my voice. And my passion. And yes, even the odd epiphany. Sometimes I am funny, sometimes I am funnier, sometimes I am serious but always, I am myself.
*Disclaimer – This post is intended for @scarbiedoll from @TodaysParent to read and gasp in awe at my linguistic skills right before she picks up the phone to tell me that I am indeed a Today’s Parent official blogger. Everyone else – well you can read it too.